Written by King David
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Topics: School, Farting

Friday, 18 January 2008

image for Middle School Science teacher designs curriculum around fire and flatulence
The homemade "Bunsen burner"; kids love to make their own burners

Middle school Science teacher, Pandora Boxer has her 8th grade student's undivided attention. Reports say this unconventional, veteran teacher has tapped into her student's natural proclivity to burn things and fart.

"They love these two activities more than anything in the world," said the earthy teacher.

She first noticed this love affair of her student's for incandescence and flatulence while doing a classic candle experiment. According to Boxer, heads began to turn and mouths closed as starring eyes, wide open watched as soon as she lit the match.

"They're like little moths heading right into the flame," she said. "It's nothing like watching the scene in 'The Wizard of Oz' where the wizard becomes furious at Dorothy and begins throwing flames at her and her friends. They have to be there."

"Nothing like feeling the heat of flames rise up from a gas burner and smelling the stench of singed hair from their head and eyebrows in front of 20 of your peers. It's a real attention getter."

According to Boxer, one of the most popular experiments is the homemade "Bunsen burner."

"I've spent whole semesters using this activity," she said. "There are many questions that we can examine such as, 'Why is the flame on Daren's flatulence so blue in contrast to Sally's which is more orange?' Or 'how is it possible that this combination of Nitrogen, Carbon Dioxide, Oxygen, Hydrogen and Methane is even capable of producing fire in the first place?

The children love Mrs. Boxer. Other popular experiments that she performs with her students include:

What is a safe distance to store canisters of Acetylene to a source of fire such as a space heater, or radiator? How can you turn a common can of hairspray into a blow torch? What happens when I light the end of a magic marker? What happens when you mix chlorine and acetylene? And how long does it take the flames from one classroom to spread to the next?

"They also enjoy my imitation of Gene Simmons, lead singer from KISS," she said. "He used to be a school teacher ya know?"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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