Written by SpaceElevator
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Topics: Squirrel

Thursday, 7 February 2008

image for Yellow-bellied Marmots Actually Will Hurt You, Study Finds

Despite its name, the Yellow-bellied Marmot (or Rock Chuck) has the capability to inflict very nasty wounds if provoked.

Originally identified in 1841 by John James Audubon and John Bachman -- both men were later shred to pieces by the creature -- the highly territorial and Machiavellian rodent (also known as Marmota Flaviventris) was recently featured on Animal Planet as the Second-Most-Dangerous-Omnivore behind the fearsome Grizzly Bear.

Although the term "yellow-bellied" was first used to describe the underside of the animal, innumerable victims have mistakenly inferred that it means "cowardly" instead.

In a particularly horrific and previously-unpublicized incident that took place on the set of Warner Brothers Animation in 1989, actor 'Yosemite Sam' lost his life at the age of 44 after sticking his head inside a canvas bag with the rodent. His last words were: "Why, you're nothing but a yellow-bellied marmot..."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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