Written by Felix Minderbinder
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Sunday, 30 December 2007

image for Microsoft Opens Retail Stores to Compete With Apple
Microsoft tries to compete

NEW YORK (FMLiveWire) - Bill Gates has personally opened his first Microsoft retail store, in Manhattan to compete with the brilliantly successful stores selling Apple computer products.

The Microsoft stores are in sharp contrast to the Apple stores where ecstatic customers explore iPod playlists, examine the Internet on iMacs and MacBooks, and touch-pad the iPhones.

In the Microsoft stores customers face banks of computers loaded with Windows Vista which have crashed and do not operate and if they do happen to run, they demand digital rights management and baffle the customers with technical jargon.

In the crowded Apple stores cheerful sales staff educate eager customers about Apple products until they happily purchase the easy-to-use devices.

In the Microsoft stores customers are met with frowns from sales staff who try to trip them as they enter the store, and then ignore them as the customers grow more and more frustrated trying to operate crappy and obtuse software.

Apple's stock has grown about 130% this year thanks in large measure to its friendly and encouraging stores that put the customer first, and enchant people with highly popular iPhones and iPods.

In the Microsoft stores, sales staff laugh as customers eventually break down crying as they are confronted with the Blue Screen of Death and are informed that all of their data is lost and the hard drive has crashed.

Apple stores offer warm, personalized training and workshops while Microsoft stores cold-shoulder everyone.

Apple stores feel like community centers that encourage creativity, while Microsoft stores are more like prisons where the inmates wait for their inevitable punishment.

The harsh clinical Microsoft stores where nothing ever works and everything ultimately freezes and crashes sends would-be customers running into the street screaming.

As they flee after being treated like dirt, they pass a flashing digital tally of the increasing wealth of multi-billionaire CEO Bill Gates below a large toothy picture of the man grinning at them.

--Copyright Felix Minderbinder Live Wire

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