Written by Noshing Mink
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Topics: Dinosaurs

Wednesday, 12 December 2007

image for Dinosaurs "tougher than previously thought"
"One Pterodactyl Vindaloo and a plate of poppadums and pickles, please"

Fossil hunters have uncovered the remains of a dinosaur that has much of its soft tissue still intact. The specimen, found in an underground cave hundreds of feet below Soho, London, is said to prove that some dinosaurs were much "tougher" than previously believed.

One palaeontologist explained to our reporter:

"This dinosaur, known as the Vindolosaurus Rex, used to get up at lunchtime, eat a pterodactyl curry for breakfast, go down the plains, get into a fight with a Brontosaurus, pick up a couple of female Velociraptors, give them a good seeing to, then stumble home through a methane swamp and return intoxicated to its lair."

The 50 foot beast is said to have been "much harder than a Tyrannosaurus Rex" and is also believed, unlike other carnivores, to go hunting in packs. The brainy scientist continued:

"Bumping into one Vindolosaurus on a dark night would be unfortunate, but bumping into five or six would be certain death. They were mental."

However, surprisingly, these terrifying beasts weren't killed off by the meteor or ice age that is believed to have wiped out all other dinosaurs on earth millions of years ago.

"Sadly, these creatures all seem to have died of a poisoned liver, suggesting that they simply ate and drank too much."

A full-size skeleton of the Vindolosaurus Rex can be viewed at the British Museum's Dinosaur Annexe immediately below the Taj Mahal Curry House on Soho Road, its natural hunting ground.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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