A drug company has announced today that it will be releasing to the market the new drug Driagra to cure temporary fluid congestion in the testicles and prostate region, a condition more commonly known as Massive Sperm Buildup (MSB) or Blue Balls.
MSB occurs in males and some females who are exposed to prolonged sexual stimulation but do not have an orgasm to clean out the pipes. This can result in fluid congestion, swelling, and pain in the testes.
Clinical studies show that Driagra is 93% as effective in relieving the symptoms of MSB as actual sex or masturbation.
When asked about the possible demand for Driagra, company spokesperson, Ned Tagedled, had this to say:
"We see two large demographic bases that will benefit from Driagra. First and most obvious are all the ugly men who have religious beliefs that will damn them to hell for freeing the demon on their own. Driagra will ease their discomfort and pain and allow them to get into heaven with a clean record. Second, we see a possible demand from men that spend a great deal of their day in a cube farm, surreptitiously surfing porn on company time, but can't always get away from their desk to finalize the contract. Driagra will allow them to continue to surf, pain free, until they can seal the deal later, with or without a partner."
Possible side effects of Driagra include: dizziness, headache, cotton mouth, drooling, blurred vision, and penile leakage. In response as to whether or not the possible side effects were worth it, Tagedled answered, "Would you rather have a little headache or feel like you've been kicked in the balls?"
Good point, Ned. Good point.