Written by IN SEINE
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Topics: Elvis Presley, DNA, Clone

Friday, 16 November 2007

image for Elvis was the King Clone - more to follow!
Should Politicians be cloned?

According to 'The Scalpel' medical journal, it was revealed that in the not-so-distant future, when scientists have perfected the cloning technique, they have decided that each person should have a copy, which would be stored until the original person died, at which point the copy would carry on.

The earliest experiment to be performed, was way back in 1977 on Elvis Presley which could well explain sightings of him in supermarket checkouts and chip shops worldwide. Alas this experiment did not go well because some DNA from a sufferer of Tourette's Syndrome got mixed in with the King's DNA helix which unfortunately caused the clone to use extreme vulgarities at the customers. To hide embarrassment the scientist minder pushed Elvis out of his top-floor penthouse window where he fell to his death. The police apprehended the boffin and charged him with 'Making an obscene clone fall' and he was sentenced to life imprisonment.

Now, 30 years on, the method has been somewhat refined and it is believed that Fidel Castro died six months ago and his clone has already been operating successfully.

There have arisen questions of ethics. Should the likes of Adolf Hitler, Joseph Stalin, Ted Bundy or Osama Bin Laden (can they find his DNA?) be cloned? Should politicians be cloned? Should Mexicans or Poles (Polish People) be cloned? What about Stephen Hawking? Who should make such decisions - isn't it playing God just a teeny-weeny bit?

At first it was decided that the clones would be made in alphabetical order. However, many people without relatives argued that they should have priority so that they could carry on their names. The scientists decided this was fair but decided to consult the Archbishop of Canterbury to make sure of the moral stand.

Dr. Rowan Williams decreed, "Let him who is without kin stash the first clone."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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