Written by Jesus Budda
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Topics: Earth, Universe, planet

Thursday, 8 November 2007

image for New planet is just like Earth - except backwards
Htrae couple Marv and Wilma. This photograph was taken before they existed.

Scientists have announced that they have discovered a place sort of like home 41 light-years from here in the constellation Cancer.

"This is an amazing and unprecedented discovery", said Prof. Rubiks Kueb. "What we have detected is a solar system very similar to our own - except everything is backwards.

"The planet were most interested in is called Htrae. From what we've seen with our junior astronomy kits - which we were given as presents last Christmas (thank you Santa) - the creatures act completely the opposite to ourselves here on Earth. For instance men get pregnant and woman get drunk sitting on the couch in front of the TV while scratching their balls.

"People suck shit up their asses from their toilets and regurgitate their food before eating it. Cats chase dogs and fish catch fishermen in tiny little boats. It's a whole different world".

Prof. Kueb and his associates believe that there may be billions of other planets out there which may support life but so far Thrae is the only one they have successfully charted.

"It is the polar opposite to everything we know and recognise. Over there, the media makes up a story and only after that does the event happen. People are 'born' backwards - it must be incredibly difficult for the men to give birth to a fully grown 98 year old person but somehow they manage and just seem to accept it as normal.

"Their mating rituals are quite unique by Earth standards. All the adolescent Htrae-lings aim to get to first base and most struggle to get past full sex. It's quite frustrating for them".

The full findings will be published in science journal Nature this month and are being published in Htrae magazine Erutan last month.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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