Written by King David
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Topics: Astronaut

Saturday, 3 November 2007

image for Asstronaut blows hole in international space station; beans blamed
International space station has a hole in the East, West, South, North wall

An American asstronaut blew a hole in one of the international space station's East, West, South, North facing walls last night as he got up to go to the bathroom. The incident happened around midnight as Discovery crew member, Colonel David Bowie got up from a game of poker with Russian cosmonauts, Vlad the Gluteus Exhaler and Ivan the Maximus.

Asstronaut Scott Skywalker is scheduled to go out and repair the wall today. His space suit will be wrapped in insulating tape to avoid electrical shock. The station's walls will be teeming with more than 150 volts of electricity. To avoid asphyxiation, he will be forced to use the bathroom before he goes out.

The incident is being blamed on refried beans that the astronauts ate earlier in the day. Researchers say that the walls are just not capable of withstanding that kind of pressure.

"This is a different matter when you're in space," says rocket man, Elton John. "Those kinds of forces are magnified thousands of times. That's why the space station's bathroom walls are reinforced."

NASA planners who packed the astronauts lunch say that they will never again include refried beans, or any other foods that are hard to digest on their future menus.

"Salads are all they are going to get," said one worker.

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