Written by Felix Minderbinder
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Saturday, 20 October 2007

image for White House Uses Cockroaches to Lure Visitors
A White House resident

WASHINGTON (FMLiveWire) - Disturbed by the steep drop in visitors to the White House as the popularity of George Bush plummets, Republicans have thought up a novel way to bring the public to the home of the nation's leadership: a zoo where children and adults can pet cockroaches right inside the White House!

The cockroach petting zoo is proving to be wildly popular among students, parents and world leaders. Public attendance at White House visits and tours is up 700% since the zoo was opened in mid October.

The zoo includes several different species of cockroach, including cockroaches that emit a foul, ammonia-like stench and the famous, palm-sized Madagascar hissing cockroach.
Tour guides also offer rubber gloves for the squeamish.

"Many American citizens consider George Bush and Dick Cheney to be little better than large roaches themselves," said White House spokesman Gordon Gomez, "so it is vastly amusing for many people to visit the White House and find a large supply of roaches which love to be petted."

"Everybody gets grossed out at first," Gomez added. "But then they find out what uses the roaches have in agriculture, like in pest elimination and in American politics."

He admitted that many people and other foreign governments might connect the cockroach petting zoo to the political roaches already rampant in the White House.

President George Bush endorsed the establishment of a cockroach zoo in the White House since "There will be only cockroaches left anyway once I start World War 3 and the rapture takes all us good Republicans up into Heaven to live with Jesus. We need some new roaches anyway since Karl Rove is leaving," he said.

--Copyright Felix Minderbinder Live Wire

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