Written by maurice ball
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Friday, 19 October 2007

image for "John predicted global warming"claims Yoko
Ono first wooed Lennon with a shit piece of artwork, not too dissimilar to this bollocks.

New York, New York - Yoko Ono, widow of slain Beatle John Lennon, claimed today that "my John" had forseen global warming.

This assertion,which has surprised nobody,is based on an unrecorded song that Lennon wrote in 1977, 3 years before his untimely, if generally well accepted assassination.

Ono unearthed the song while "rooting through a few drawers". The song, recorded on a portable cassette player, is titled "Deep Heat", which is also the name of a foul smelling lineament which, coincidentally, Lennon was known to be addicted to, either by inhalation or intravenously.

Scientists have dismissed Ono's claim, stating that at the time of Lennon's death, the world was being frightened into believing that we were heading into a new ice age.

One journalist, with no interest in the future of the planet, asked Yoko "Is it not obvious that McCartney was vastly more talented than your ex-husband?" was told to: "Fuck off you round eyed bastard. What do the songs say eh? Lennon/McCartney. LENNON/McCartney, THAT'S what they say"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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