Cape Canaveral, Florida (IP) - The International Space Station will be dismantled one section at a time and be brought back to Earth for mechanical repairs and to remove grafitti and bumper stickers placed there by rogue astronauts and robots.
The mechanical repairs involve squeaky fan belts in the Briggs and Stratton engines that keep the station going.
The grafitti and bumper sticker issues are more complicated. NASA recently made the mistake of painting some of their robots black and other robots white. It did not take long before tensions rose between the two groups. Robot gangs soon formed and both sides have been seen writing stuff on the inner and outer walls of the ISS.
The astronaut that was arrested for stalking recently also seems to have written some nasty messages on the ISS's bathroom walls. The following message will have to be removed: for a good time call skank woman Colleen Shipman at 555-4269. Another nasty message was: Colleen does Houston.
There are problems outside the ISS as well. Bumper stickers with Gays Against God written on them have mysteriously appeared there. The bumper stickers make the religious astronauts nervous because you know who might see them and send some micro meteorites through the walls of the space station which are made of thick tin foil.
NASA has warned astronauts that if they can not behave like grown men and ladies that they will bring back the days of the cramped little space capsules like Mercury, Gemini, and Apollo. The robots were all stripped of their paint and since then at least one group has stopped calling in sick and robbing 7-11's.