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Topics: Ted Kennedy

Friday, 12 October 2007

image for Ted Kennedy's Head is Still Growing at Phenomenal Rate.
Chappaquiddick....1969

BOSTON - Senator Edward Kennedy underwent surgery Friday at Massachusetts General Hospital. The operation, performed by Dr. Richard Cambria, the hospital's chief of vascular surgery, was completed without complications, and the Massachusetts Democrat was expected to be released in several days, his Washington office said in a statement.

Kennedy, 75, needed the hour long procedure because his head is still growing and his neck can no longer support it. Dr Cambria said Kennedy hurt his neck in a car crash in Chappaquiddick in the late 60's and this injury prompted his head to start growing at an accelerated rate. The assembled media gasped loudly and took two steps backwards when the doctor showed pictures of Kennedy's head.

Dr Cambria went on to explain that he built what in layman terms could be called scaffolding on Kennedy's shoulders. The stainless steel structure should give adequate support to his head for a few years.

The Senator from Massachusetts is said to be in high spirits at the moment and is spending his down time testing new neck braces that will camouflage the scaffolding. Mr Kennedy is thought to favor the nifty white version which covered his ass, so to speak, in 1969.

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