Television geography disaster Jade Goody is set to do for the space race what she did for race relations.
The blonde/brunette/any colour in a bottle said: 'Where is space? It is like, really nothing, ain't it? It is just nothing that goes on forever and forever. I have to live with these thoughts all of the time, it is really quite surprising how I can manage to get out of the bed each day'
A NASA Scientist with seven degrees and a fluency in 4 languages said: 'All of that research, all of those wasted years studying space, how can I ever measure up to an intellect of that size? I really should give up now, shouldn't I?'
A spokesman for East Angular council was nowhere to be found, so we made him up: 'Jade Goody thought we were in Spain, so the wonders of space should not really be lost on an intellect of that size. Still, she makes more money than I do, so who am I to argue with her?'
With that thought we left him to it, with his flesh crawling.