Yesterday scientists claimed that the results of a recent test had revealed the presence of female hormones in lager, and advised men should take a long hard look at their consumption. The theory is that drinking beer makes men turn into women.
To test the theory 15 Australian rugby fans were fed 8 pints of lager each within a one hour period.
It was then observed that they all gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became overly emotional, couldn't drive, failed to think rationally, argued over nothing, had to sit down while urinating, couldn't perform sexually, and refused to apologize when wrong.
No further testing is planned for another four years.