Written by marlowe
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Topics: Birds, Housing

Friday, 19 October 2007

image for Crows Cash in on Nesting Crises
A crow estate agent.

Following recent reports of squirrels in the East End of London, forming together into collective farms, harvesting crops and exporting snails to France, animal experts are reporting an incredible development among the local crow population.

With the approach of autumn and the falling of leaves from the trees, distinct signs of construction are being revealed. It would appear that crows are putting their multi nesting skills to commercial use and creating "estates in the air".

Most nests are single detached constructions in neat rows, but some appear to be semi-detached. The crown of one whole London Plain tree is a mass of twigs with nest after nest crammed on top of one another. This is clearly an attempt by some crows to cash in on the increasing shortage of nesting sites in big trees.

Thanks to climate warming, many new species of birds are migrating to this country and many indigenous species just aren't bothering to migrate in the winter.

Thanks also to the sudden wealth of local squirrels and their need for very large nests, spare twigs are at a premium. The rules of supply and demand are at work and the crows are CASHING IN.

Hackney Council's Planning Dept say they have received no planning applications for these constructions and will take a very dim view of gerry building by crows. Prosecutions could follow.

Peter Danziger, a local resident and self appointed watchdog, said: "Take it from me, those planning officers are in on this. They're all bend as corkscrews. It wouldn't surprise me if they're lining the nests with asbestos."

Bird behaviour experts and the Housing Corporation are monitoring the situation carefully.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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