Written by Jalapenoman
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Sunday, 23 September 2007

image for Scientists Discover The Grinch Was A Roswell Alien
The Grinch, in his cool looking shades, was actually a Roswell type Alien

Scientists at M.I.T. and Cal Tech have jointly discovered that The Grinch was a real being and was actually a Roswell type alien. Their five year study unearthed the fact that The Grinch was not really a creation from the mind of Theodore "Dr. Seuss" Geisel, but was in fact an alien that was stranded on earth shortly before the Roswell incident in 1947.

The Grinch, pictured at right in an early family photo from the Geisel household, was actually born on a far away planet named "Who." Stories that Seuss wrote about that place, including How The Grinch Stole Christmas and Horton Hears a Who, were actually historical narratives from the home planet of the miserly alien.

A true alien autopsy was performed on the Whovian (who was buried in the Giesel backyard) and it was discovered that his heart really was two sizes to small. This eventually led to his passing at an early age in the early 1960's.

Descendants of Dr. Seuss who remember the alien say that he was whiney and greedy and wanted over half of the proceeds of the books. They also say that his coarse, green hair was always clogging bathroom drains and that he used up all the water and took too much time in the bathroom. Family members also related that "Grinchie" used to "go around in these huge sunglasses because the light hurt his eyes and he thought that they made him look cool. When we first saw the Roswell alien pictures with those huge eyes, we thought that they didn't understand about the alien Ray-bans."

Family members remember that Boris Karloff, who did the voice in the cartoon of How the Grinch Stole Christmas, was dead on to their former house guest. They also said that the only pleasure they got out of having him around was playing with Max, his dog.

Faced with actual evidence of the existence of an Alien, Roswell resident and self professed Alien expert (and t-shirt vendor) Bernie Paxton was elated. "See, I told you so! I told you so! This is going to be another boon to tourism here! I might just have to start selling Grinch cartoons and Jim Carrey movies out of the back of my truck now too!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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