Lima Beanea, Peru (IP) - Scientists lowered into the giant meteor crater in Peru have issued a detailed report designed to help the lay public get a bird's eye view of exactly what the meteorite looks like in their mind' eye.
Crews used block and tackle to assist the lead scientist in this project in obtaining a direct view of the huge meteor. They borrowed the block and tackle equipment from Sally Struthers who is so rotund that she depends on block and tackle equipment to raise and lower her for everyday activities and events which for reasons of good taste we will not further describe here.
The gangly shaped scientist was carefully lowered into the vicinity of the lare meteorite. He spoke nervously into a microphone with a German accent as he described the object: "Zhe meteorite is rrround, black, und shiny. It is actually spherical in shape und has two little legs at zeh bottom vhich look like two small right angles or letter "L's" right next to each othuhr und each von of these legs has a little foot attached at zeh end und each little foot is veaghring a clumsy looking little black shoe." Ahem- he cleared his voice and continued.
"At each side of zeh spherical body is a tiny little "L" shaped arm vith a little hand attached. Zeh right hand is veaghring a little vatch. The hands und feet seem vay too small for zeh big fella."
"Near top of zeh sphere (spheah) is a large mark like zeh pound sign (#) vhich glistens slightly in zeh sun light."
"At zeh top of zeh spheah iz a large fuzen vhich is smoking and a small flame is vurning. Vait, vhat iz this? A small clock with wires running from it into zeh spheah. The clock is saying, tick tock, tick tock, tick, tock,.... There is a small sign attached at zeh bottom which reads, Time bomba vaiting to go off!"
The scientist yelled, "Okterleaver (sic), dumbkopf, get me out of......."