An amazing new plan to end hippies moaning about the global warming swindle has been announced today. The UN has unveiled radical new plans today in an attempt to silence the organizations critics who are now holding meetings at least once a week to discuss why no one is listening to them.
The plan involves spreading thousands of tons of the miraculous growing aid Miracle Grow over millions of acres of rainforest throughout the Amazon and other major rainforests and jungles worldwide. This is hopefully enough to encourage at least 200% extra growth and hence ridding the atmosphere of Carbon dioxide.
Miracle Grow works by harnessing magic to make something bigger. The critics who have held a summit to discuss this move have spoken out again, as always, releasing this statement: 'This will not work, we need to drastically reduce our output of carbon dioxide by using less energy' .....and more stuff along those lines to which the press and world officials told them to 'Shut up' and everyone left.
The process of buying the Miracle Grow has already begun according to our sources, which explains the global shortage and the fact that the resource in recent months has risen in value such that it is now more expensive than gold by unit volume.
The plan should be underway by tomorrow and hopefully the global warming will be reversed by 'Saturday afternoon' according to a bloke with a computer.