Written by CWMIV
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Topics: Science, Scientists

Friday, 12 March 2004

image for Scientists Solve Shrinking Saga
A student scientist hard at work.

Novice scientists working in Ottehg University's science labs have rocked the world with the incredible completion of the final vital steps of their work on a Shrinking Formula.

The scientists' top-secret work on the formula took many months, and finally, they had a large beaker full of pinkish liquid. They tested it on a fellow student, who shrank away and was never seen again.

After much adjustments, involving a hard time picking cheese off a cardboard pizza box and dropping it into the potent potion, they tried it again on another student - and exactly the same thing happened.

Eventually, the determined crew of young pioneers discovered that the electronic probes they taped to the drink's container were destroying the drink's ability to be controlled in size-changing depending on how much you drank, and the temporary effect - it made the drinker stay at minimum size forever.

After fixing that minor hiccup, they discovered that the formula now worked perfectly if not for the minor problem that the antidote - for use of only if you find yourself wanting to grow back before time ran out - caused tentacles to grow in place of arms upon regrowth.

The students, not to be outdone, claim that details on how they are getting on with this problem will be released in 2098.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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