Written by Doctor ?
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Wednesday, 5 September 2007

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Human Android

In a shocking turn of events today it was discovered that beloved Scottish Comedian and Presenter Billy Connolly was an Android when his head exploded in a shower of sparks and circuits during his once yearly hair wash.

His wife, Psychiatrist, Actress and Writer Pamela Stephenson, deep in shock was asked for her comments.

"Well, he always was a bit unusual, but an android? I just can't believe it - I've lived with him for nearly 30 years!"

Shortly Afterwards, a statement was issued by Commander Blofeld of the SMERSH Scientific Development Group, Geneva.

"Well, the cat's out of the bag now. I have to admit we really fooled the world with our crazy stereotypical Scottish funnyman robot. Unfortunately our other public figurehead androids never really did as well - Tony Blair melted down under pressure, and George Bush Junior and Vladimir Putin have been rumbled and are on their way out.

"It's a shame really - our diabolical, er sorry, peaceful plans for world domination have had to be put on hold.

"That's all I have to say."

He smiled sadly, a tear running down his facial scar while stroking a large white cat.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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