Berkeley, CA. A scientist at the Lawrence Livermore Laboratory announced the results of a five-year study which he contends shows the existence of a possible link between the detonation of explosive devices in heavily-populated areas and an increased risk of injury.
Visiting Professor Eugene Fyodorsky acknowledged that no actual data were collected, attributing that flaw in the research to the utter and complete absence of funding for the study. He noted, however, that "the anecdotal evidence does seem to suggest the possibility of some sort of connection between the detonation of incendiary devices in heavily populated areas and an increased incidence of injury."
The announcement sent a shock wave through the scientific community, and has been discredited by the Congressional Research Service. Within hours of the announcement, CRS spokesperson William Casey issued a statement explaining that positing such a connection would be like blaming Congress for causing injuries and death in Iraq simply by voting to hold a war there. The former professor could not be reached for comment.