Print this
Topics: The Sun, Ice Caps

Friday, 31 August 2007

image for Solar Ice Caps Discovered

Mount Palomar, California (IP) - Scientists at the Mount Palomar campus announced the discovery of polar ice caps on the sun today. The news has shaken most of the scientific world with the exception of Poland.

The ice caps are located in regions where the sun does not shine. Immediately adjacent to the caps are subtropical zones complete with long rows of coconut palms.

Polish scientists stated that they knew all along that the sun would be a place where men could visit as long as they went there at night. Now they are convinced that they can go there anytime.

They have put together a large rocket made from surplus V-2 missiles. The missiles are strapped together in such a way that there are ten missiles in the first stage, 5 missiles in the second stage and one missile at the top in the third stage. The engines are synchronized by small computers. A large liquid oxygen tank atop a large liquid hydrogen tank run through the middle of all three stages. The fuel tanks remain in place and the surrounding V-2 missiles fall to the sides as the missile ascends. Cut off valves shut off the flow of fuel as the stages fall away.

The steadily decreasing weight of the craft allows it to accelerate until escape velocity is achieved at around 25,000 miles per hour. The first craft takes a return vehicle and lands it on the sun's pole. A second craft then takes its passengers to the sun.

The vehicle is coated with a mirror finish to reflect the suns light away from the craft and the cryogenic liquid fuels are constantly circulated around the periphery of the V-2's as they are fed from the tanks and into the engines.

Lead project scientist Wherner Von Brauniski is so confident that the mission will succeed that he has volunteered to be the first person to travel to the solar poles. He has decided to name the new lands Poleland.

Make drugtestallpoliticians's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 1 multiplied by 2?

1 7 2 8
42 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more