Mount Palomar (IP) - Our science reporter just received a telegram from the Mount Palomar Astronomy Campus in California and the National Hurricane Center in Coral Gables, Florida which indicates that a hurricane will from in the Atlantic basin within two weeks of tomorrow's lunar eclipse.
Residents of the Atlantic coast should point electric fans eastward after tomorrow's eclipse and keep them running non-stop for two weeks in order to blow the hurricane back into the ocean. This is known as the butterfly effect which states that the wind caused by a butterfly's wings will eventually have an affect on the world's climate.
Religious leaders also joined in with a dire warning to sinners on the east coast. They stated that if enough people in one city petition the lord with prayer that the hurricane will go to another city where less prayers are recited.
The prayers must be very specific and the following scenario is given as an example as to what can happen if the prayers are not specific enough : If the folks in one town pray that a category five hurricane not hit their location than it is entirely possible that a categoty four will show up. This means that the prayers must ask for no hurricane at all to hit.
Last year there were droughts in Oklahoma and Texas and the folks there prayed for rain. Unfortunately they did not specify a specific amount of the wet stuff and look at the terrible flooding they have experienced.
We all know that the Superbowl is won by cities that are more pious and where more prayer is performed than where competeting teams come from that end up loosing. How many times have you prayed the following prayer during a game involving your team ? : Oh, please Lord, we urgently and solemnly beseech thee in this hour of need and we ask that our team win this game and that our quarterback not be arrested for dog fighting, amen.
To sum it up, point fans eastward and pray prayers that are specific in nature. According to thy faith be it unto you.