Written by Greg Creedy
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Topics: Space

Monday, 27 August 2007

image for Space Void Just Bird Poo
You Can't See The Void

The apparent one billion light-year void in space discovered by a University of Minnesota team has proved to be nothing more than pigeon droppings on some of the radio telescopes used to survey the heavens.

Scientists speculated that the hole resulted from a bubble of nothingness formed after a battle of matter and antimatter in a region of the very early universe.

But following an inspection of the radio telescopes in New Mexico, the embarrassed boffins realised it was just bird crap.

Professor Ivor Brain from the University of Bognor Regis, UK, told The Spoof, "It was an easy mistake to make. It's a bit like when you're driving your car and you suddenly see what you think is a UFO in the sky. You slam your foot down on the brake, another car rams into your arse, but you don't care - you've just seen a UFO! Then you realise it's just bird shit on the windscreen."

The team who discovered the space void, or rather, who didn't, will not be winning the Nobel Prize, but are nevertheless hoping to make a dollar or two from their forthcoming book, "It Was Shit All Along."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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