London Paranormal Symposium - (Ass Mess): Scientists have replicated a chain of events that has triggered out-of-body experiences previously confined to traditional gastric voidings.
The experiements have been described at theis weekend's International Paranormal Convention meeting in London and mirror the kind of near-neath events that many people have reported especially after consuming intoxicating material such as Fly Agaric - the magic mashroom - or Psilocybin, a fungal growth similar in effect to Mexican peyote.
Describing their techniques scientists from London's University College said they used "virtual reality goggles" to trick the brain's frontal lobe into thinking the body was "somewhere completely different - like the public lavatory in London's Leicester Square".
This had a startling effect on participants who immediately gave way to freeing open the bowels and producing the kind of out-of-body experiences previously considered impossible.
"This could be a great breakthrough with astounding military and warfare implications," a spokesman said today.
"All we would have to do, for instance, is adapt the computer program into a subliminal acoustic wave.
"This would then be beamed over into enemy territory - for instance by hacking into radio frequencies used by fighter bomber pilots - and voila! We could vanquish the enemies by messing with their biological functions many thousands of miles away!"
The Symposium's findings have been sent over to the Pentagon for analysis.