Written by Daniela
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Wednesday, 22 August 2007

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Do you take daily multivitamin supplements to better your health? What about your kids? Well, chances are you and your kids may be intaking the same deadly poisons found in cigarettes.

"Carcinogenic compounds found in cigarettes might be found in samples of children's multivitamins," explains Lorraine Burger, MD. "These are cancer-causing chemicals we're talking about. There could be cancer in our vitamins!" Burger also reveals that elevated levels of lead may even be found in leading brands of children's vitamins. "It's a possibility."

Immediately following Burger's accusations, several facilities across America began to analyze the contents of vitamin brands such as Flintstones and One-A-Day. While no cancer-causing chemicals were discovered in the vitamins, Burger warns us not to let our guards down.

"The poison could be hidden and undetectable. We just don't know for sure." Burger says. "No one believed that the Earth was round. No one believed that the planet revolves around the Sun. We must learn to believe. Believe that there is poison in our vitamins."

The government recommends that all vitamins in every American household be disposed of as a precaution. "Malnutrition is a much better alternative than dead," Bush advises.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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