Pasadena, California (IP) - The Jet Propulsion Lab (JPL) announced today that it will replace the aging Shuttle fleet with giant frisbees. The Frisbees are old 1970's technology with a proven track record.
Engineers at the JPL are now developing a large tossing device that resembles the spring operated system used in clay pigeon launchers. In the process of building the device they have inadvertently created a shortage in all kinds of springs.
The crew's compartment will be attached on one side of the under belly of the large frisbee which measures 200 feet in diameter and weighs 100 tons. It will be counter balanced by the service module compartment on the opposite side and in the middle are the retro-rockets.
The testing of the giant frisbee is responsible for many of the UFO reports streaming out of Mexico and elsewhere. We all are familiar with how a frisbee will sometimes go off in an unexpected direction and that is precisely what has happened during the lengthy testing and development phase required to prove that the apparatus can be man rated.
Mexican farm work Pedro Jimenez Gonzalez was deeply disappointed and hurt to find out that there have been no flying saucers in his barrio contrary to local conventional wisdom. He said, "Conyo meng, the least ju could do eez paint someteeng like Greengo Ship from de JooSA or someting like dat on de side of the macheeng or someteeng ju know what I mean ?".