Cape Canaveral, Florida (IP) - NASA has announced it will replace the Shuttle's Reentry tile system. The space agency is strapped for money and they are sending scraphounds out to attend yard sales so they can buy scrap bathroom and kitchen tiles and jars of paste to be used as replacement parts.
One scraphound and professional yard sailor, Henry Finootch was seen pulling up to a local yard sale in his 1977 Chrysler station wagon in the Cocoa Beach area over the weekend. He immediately got into a fist fight with a yard sailor from a local trailer park that had spotted the boxes of tiles first. He ended up victorious in the scrap and was able to obtain sixteen boxes of blue and pink bathroom tiles at a dollar per box. He talked the frightened family down to $10 thereby saving the space agency and tax payers a bundle.
He then went to an automobile junkyard while they were closed on a Sunday and stole a few small "donut" spare tires to replace the worn out tires on the shuttle fleet. He was able to make off with the tires while the junk yard dogs were busy chewing on some old bones he had thrown in their direction.
Mr. Finootch explained that he hated to operate this way and said, "we ain't got no other darned choice and a man's gotta do what he's gotta do".
As payment for his services NASA is going to give him some bottles of MD-20 wine they found stashed under the shuttle's seats and some packets of freeze dried space food that some vermin had been chewing on. Mr. Finootch says he ain't afraid of a no vermin germs and he'll just heat them up with his trusty old blow torch and they will be as good as new.