LONDON (Defecated News) - Boffins at the University of Southampton Colonisation Research Of The Earthlings (U-SCROTE) have advised the government AGAINST planned solar landings and possible subsequent solar colonies.
The plans were to send groups of volunteers to live on the Sun hoping that they could make good use of their solar panels, and reduce electricity bills. This would have been filmed and watched back on Earth Big Brother stylee in a show called I'm No Celebrity, It's Hot Up Here. But it seems this may not work.
"Approaching the sun from even a hundred thousand miles away, you'd turn to ash. I'm not shitting you", said tubby astronomer Patrick Moore. "The whole idea of it proposterporproter....stupid.", added the monocle-wearing twat.