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Topics: Global Warming

Wednesday, 15 August 2007

image for Spontaneous Combustion Consumes Polar Ice Cap

Juneau, Alaska (IP) - Telemetry broadcast by polar ice cap monitoring station OICU812 indicates that the north polar ice cap spontaneously combusted due to the effects of global warming.

News of the conflagration failed to make headlines thanks to hurricane Flossie which missed the island of Hawaii by 100 miles. Hype generated by The Weather Channel caused island officials to declare a state of emergency and there was a run on stores by anxious island residents who spent millions of dollars to prepare for the mighty 40 mile an hour winds whiched lashed at the island's south shore.

In the meantime the entire north polar ice cap self combusted when water molecules separated into their respective components of hydrogen and oxygen atoms and then recombined. The recombination initiated a hypergolic reaction similar to that found in RL-10 rocket engines and subsequent rocket engines manufactured in such a way that they could be stopped and then re-started while in space without the need for tricky ignition systems which would have been prone to failure due to their exposure to hot exhaust gases exiting from the business end of liquid fueled rocket engines.

A new ice cap quickly re-formed in a matter of hours as new ice quickly developed where the previous cap was located. The crew of a Russian submarine in the area
failed to notice that anything was amiss because of the over consumption of Vodka used only for medicinal purposes and the after effects thereof.

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