Croydon, Saaf London (Defecated News) - In a recent independent study, a scientist has hypothesized that in theory, hair dryers can kill you, and me - possibly.
Physics A-Level student Danny Baker (17), from Croydon created the theory as part of his final year project. The study is entitled 'Use a hair dryer, yeah, and you might like kill your brain and shit.' He explained his work to our Science Correspondent, Donny Barker:
"Basically, if you use a dryer for your hair too much, yeah, what happens, yeah, is like the skin gets all hot and stuff. If the scalp gets really hot, then the brain might fry and dead brain means bad shit, yeah. It could kill you, man."
One of the world's best selling hair dryer manufacturers responded to these claims in a statement:
"We have researched similar theories and there is nothing in it. He should have sex and get a life. He's seventeen for fuck's sake."
Baker is working on part two of his study entitled 'If you shave too close, yeah, then you might cut your skin all off, yeah."