Southeastern Mexico (Scientific UnAmerican) - The influx of undocumented Mexicans to the US is actually vacuum-dragging other illegal immigrants into Mexico.
"It's quite a simple process," explained physicist Carl Say-Again. "A lower pressure area develops as less mass is present, thereby creating a suction effect that pulls poor, loose people from Central America, Cuba and Jamaica into Mexico. Allow me to demonstrate."
Mr. Say-Again then went on to show the phenomenon step-by-step as a hapless Guatemalan on a bicycle was involuntarily relocated to Mexico.
"Don't worry. He will be fine. As soon as he gets his bearings he should have no problem finding a new family and a new life for himself."
Latinoamericano authorities refused to comment on-the-record (but off-the-record they said that they are looking into numerous Chinese-made tire puncture products).