Written by Aisubeki Akiudo
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Topics: Twins

Thursday, 9 August 2007

image for Siamese Twins To Have Surgery? My Arse!
Brothers In Arms?... Or Brother In Arse?

BEIJING (Defecated News) - The science world has been in a state of deep confusion since the birth of Siamese Twins Yu Lon Kok and Yu Wi Kok nearly twenty years ago. How could they survive such adverse circumstances and how could they be separated?

Since birth, the head of Lon Kok has been protruding from Wi Kok's anus. The entire body is internal to his brother and they share major organs such as the spleen, descending colon and penis.

"Our closeness is more than anatomical", said Wi Kok. "we talk about everything and share our deepest secrets. He's a big part of me. ", he added.

Certain practical issues are a problem, though. "When my bro takes a dump, I get front row seats! I keep wipes handy just for my face, even though I don't have any hands to wipe with!" laughed Lon Kok, unable to brush the tears of laughter away.

Doctors in Mumbai, India are confident they can safely separate the two brothers and offer Lon Kok a new body and the independence he needs for his psychological well being. Doctor Rajiv Kumar, Chief General Surgeon of Mumbai's Shetty Clinic told The Spoof: "I can do it, no doubt. I'm the man for the job and there's nothing I'd love more than to be able to shake Lon Kok's hand, or to watch Wi Kok take a dump without messing over his brother's face."

Surgery is planned for this winter, and the chances of both dying are high at 97.32 per cent.

The Proclaimers refused to comment.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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