A supercomputer in the Spoof! offices in Canary Wharf has supposedly cracked the secret of writing a successful Spoof! article.
The £1,000,000 Kray computer, which is so clever that it can play DOS games like Doom even under Microsoft Windows, has revealed that a good article must have one of the following words or phrases in it:
- Monkey Woods
- Queen Mudder
It doesn't actually matter what the article says. Anything with the word "Bollywood" in it will automatically be read by 1 billion Indians, who all have broadband access to the Internet.
As for articles with "Monkey Woods" or "queen mudder" in their text, the computer said that as these are the funniest contributors to The Spoof! anything they write will not surprisingly attract a large audience.
Our reporter put this theory to the test by writing an article about the Queen Mudder spanking his Monkey Woods in Bollywood. Unfortunately, the editor refused to publish it and gave him a bollocking for having such a dirty mind. It proves that computers are not always right.