LONDON (Defecated News) - Oysters, champagne, a bit of massage, foreplay and fisting. These are the common ways gay and straight couples keep their love life alive. But now a fetish that has been tabboo for centuries is becoming a mainstream activity.
Scatology, the use of human faeces in the act of sexual gratification, has been recently brought into the news with many celebrities endorsing the unclean act. From lubrication to body paint or even eating it, 'shit is here to stay', they say.
"Why feel wrong when you are able to use your own body to show love?" said actor Tom Boat-trip. He added, "I dump on Katie's boobies every morning and she still loves me, more maybe. It's called a Cleveland Steamroller, you know."
One TV star has taken it even further. Ken Kercheval, actor who played Cliff Barnes in Dallas, has admitted, "I enjoy taking a teaspoon of my woman's ass cheese with every cup of coffee."
The British Medical Association has advised people to avoid scatology due to health risks. Spokesman Dr Arthur Logg told us, "Poo is not good for you. It's shitty, literally."
The AMA refused to comment.