Atlantic Ocean (IP) - Scintist aboard the submersible craft with the very French sounding name of Voulez Vouz Couche Avec Un Poisson have discovered that fish everywhere are drowning. They believe that the fish suddenly realized that they had no nose and the ensuing panic has brought on the sudden death of fish everywhere.
The scientists claim that the massive netting and abuse of fish stocks and the effects of pollution and alleged global warming pale in comparison to the panic created by the realization by the fish that the fish have no nose.
Scientists are suggesting that prosthetic noses be quickly developed and attached to the fish. So far most of the noses they have found are rubber and include a fake pair of glasses and sometimes a moustache and the fish do not seem to care for this arrangement. Magic shops report a run on these items.
So far aquarium fish have been spared from this ordeal and soon they may be the only fish left on the planet. Scientists are instructing people not allow the aquarium fish to hear nor view television accounts of the impending disaster.