Written by Robert W. Armijo
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Topics: Sex, Japan, sex toys, iPod

Sunday, 29 July 2007

image for Transformer iPods turn into Robo-Pimps to pleasure Japanese women
Meet the new mini-you?

Tokyo, Japan - Not just for your listening pleasure anymore. Now your iPod can be retrofitted with a special kit to turn it into an adult sex toy for her to enjoy: 'It's Saturday night. All her girlfriends are out with their boyfriends while you're away on business and she's home alone again. She reaches for your iPod to play a few of your happy tunes to remember you well you're away. But it's just not the same without you. Well, now it can be with the new iPod Robo-Pimp transformer kit."

Bring together the proven state-of-the-art that Apple's iPod has to offer, and the latest in Japanese sex toy technology, your iPod can pickup were you left off and deliver your package to her well you are away.

The device works by picking up on the sound waves of the tunes you unselfishly left behind on your iPod for her to 'discover'. Then it gets busy with your business "down under", matching the tempo, beat and rhythms making her forget your were ever away and help drown out her biological clock ticking away her chances of ever having a family with you.

"The only drawback, so far, is that after a while some of the iPod Robo-Pimps start pimping out their female users after just a few months," said an industry analyst. "So you have to replace the unit every few months." Wow! Just like a real boyfriend.

The pleasure device comes with a FCC warning that states: excessive use may damage your gene pool by making it extinct.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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