Bloody Awful Airports (BAA) have released plans to fingerprint all travellers through its airports, starting with Heathrow, so that it "can find the bugger that keeps touching our clean windows!" Exclaimed an airport employee, adding "BAA spent nearly £50 last year at Heathrow alone, cleaning the windows, and within minutes someone had put their fingerprints on them!"
BAA expects to be able to raise additional monies by selling the fingerprint database to US authorities.
The spokesman stated "when you think about how many criminals and terrorists fly through our airports, it makes sense to capture their fingerprints and then sell the data to the Americans so that they can arrest them!"
The FBI Agent, who brokered the deal, said "We have a huge database of fingerprints of people that we think might be terrorists or criminals, or are just unknown to us. So getting hold of this data will enable us to pick up undesirables and fill in the gaps in our own data!" "It's a win-win", he added.