Written by Monkey Woods
Print this

Saturday, 21 July 2007

image for Heavy Flooding Blamed On Rain
The top of Big Ben yesterday

The recent widespread flooding that has affected many parts of the UK, is down to heavy rain, it has been claimed by experts.

Some areas are still under several feet of water, including Hull, which has been 'officially forgotten', and, say meteorological analysts, it's all because of a bit of good old fashioned precipitation.

Long-time Hull resident, Albert Spatchcock, 82, who describes himself as a 'weather expert', said:

"It's a devil of a thing! I've never sin samuch rain. Fair cats'n'dogs. It's ruined me green beans 'n' cabbages!"

It's the same in Lancashire over the other side of the Pennines.
In Manchester, where people start to worry when it doesn't rain, another old person, Maud Grimley, 71, told Radio Manchester's phone-in show:

"Eyup! 'Appen it cum rart ovver top o' me wellies! Never stopped all day! Mind you, ducks'll be 'appy!"

Staff at the Royal Meteorological Society say the weather is set to continue, and people should "get used to the inconvenience" of having raw sewage in their homes.

Professor Ed Banger of the RMS, said:

"When global warming kicks in, most of these Northern places won't exist. There definitely has been a lot of rain about, but, on the upside, we no longer have hosepipe bans anywhere in the country."

Make Monkey Woods's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 1 multiplied by 3?

9 13 3 2
33 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more