Written by ranger121
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Friday, 13 July 2007

image for Power crisis: Compulsory Cycle Service is the answer, say Greens.

The Government is under pressure from the Green Party to introduce a radical new method to counteract the current shortage of electricity generating capacity in the UK.

Banks of cycles, attached to generators, are to be pedalled by the unemployed to generate electricity. The Compulsory Cycle Service (CCS) will be compulsory for all who are unemployed for more than 6 months. A typical period of service will last for "up to" 6 months, or until a certain number of kilowatts have been generated. So, the quicker you go, the quicker you go home is the motto, although some unemployed are yelling "Arbeit macht frei" as they receive call-up letters. In return, the Government will pay "enhanced" benefit payments, less a charge for wear and tear on the cycle.

The banks of cycles should be set up at centralised points all over the Country, to ensure an even spread of generation, with specialist compounds to deal with the reluctant and the sick.

The Greens insist that the scheme is "carbon neutral" and will cost less than the 1200 windmills needed to be built in the Humber Estuary.

The first compound has been built at Battersea, and is likely to go online next week, after the Government enforces the Parliament Act to get the Bill through the House of Lords, who have been resisting its passage for reasons best known to themselves.

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