Vatican - (Ass Mess): The Pope has denied allegations that he imported an electric shock machine "to make people believe he could pass on the Holy Spirit".
A Pontifical orifice spokesman said today that the machine in quesiton was just a toy that somebody sent him to help cure arthiritc limbs and was not part of any attempt to fool people with shocking miraculous powers.
The machine was seized at Rome airport last week after a police tip-off that the Pope was planning to test drive it at an official Pontifical audience early next week.
But police say that due to a massive growth in charismatic claims about Ratzinger's healing powers they became suspicious that the machine could be used "to perpetrate fraud".
A spokesman for the Pope told the press today that during his prayers the Pope can "act as the spirit comes to him".
"Sometimes this is truly electrifying to watch!"
But internet material for the 'Electrical Touch'machine's manufacturers promote it with an ad that says "Charge a spoon, keys or coins and watch as it shocks a volunteer!
"They will believe you have supernatural powers!"