New research by scientists in Holland has discovered the reason why many elderly women smell of urine.
The men behind the breakthrough, Dr. A.S. Swipe and his colleague Professor Johann van der Poop spent months filming thousands of old ladies via a secret camera in Amsterdam's public lavatories.
According to Dr. A.S. Swipe, "the results were extraordinary. We noticed that due to their age and infirmity, older ladies take longer to remove their undergarments thus increasing the probability of urine leaking into the gusset. With several lavatory visits per day, there is bound to be a build-up of moisture and the smell will only get worse."
Professor Poop had more revelations: "With some of the eldest ladies it was clear they'd had difficulty controlling their 'numbers twos' as well. Frankly, the state of their underwear was appalling. No wonder they live alone."