Just days before bags at Heathrow are to be tagged with expensive RFID tags in the desperate hope that they'll solve the ailing airports baggage problems, Bloody Awful Airports (BAA) Ltd have admitted that they will make little to no difference and in fact it's nothing more than a publicity/self-promotion stunt, "to give the impression that we are striving to tackle the mounting baggage issue" was how one unnamed employee put it.
The Spoof has discovered that the RFID tags are to be attached at check-in with the £5 additional per-bag-cost paid by passengers and passed on by the unwitting airlines direct to the BAA, however the BAA will not be installing "expensive" RFID readers at the airport as they admit that they can "read the barcodes just fine".
The IATA (Inappropriate Airline Technology Association) is sponsoring the rollout, but admits that it will have little effect at Heathrow, where it describes the real issue as "a bodged god-awful baggage infrastructure".
No airlines were available for comment, although both Ryanair and easyJet are watching with interest for a potential additional hidden charge.
Technology commentator Prof A. Beard from Cambridge University said, "RFID tags are cool!"