Written by Mike Hunt
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Wednesday, 11 July 2007

Researchers from Glasgow University have linked the decline in Haggis to Global Warming. Professor Robertson commented that the recent warm weather had spoiled the Haggis traditional feeding ground.

He said "The warm weather has made people go out to restaurants and nice bars, but previously they had been sitting in their cars with the heaters on eating fish & chips on the way home from the pub, and dumping the fish & chip papers on the streets , which the Haggis live on. Also Haggis did not have a taste for Polish newspapers"

Alex Salmond Scottish First Minister commented that urgent environmental protection actions was needed to prevent the demise of one of Scotland's finest treasurers.

Professor Robertson said more funds had to be made available for research into Haggis.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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