Atlanta, Georgia (Reuterus) - Scientists at the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) have isolated a 30-year-old man, who they believe has contracted a rare but nasty case of 'Tennis Elbow'.
Apparently the victim, a weekend hacker tennis player, had just returned from a three-day tennis orgy at the Vic Braden Tennis College in Utah's Green Valley Resort and Spa.
Authorities are not yet ready to cause an international panic on the scale of the 2002-2003 "SARS epidemic". However, this particular version of the ailment could strain the world's already-overburdened public health systems.
People are advised to be cautious and to alert local hospital staff (prior to entering any building) if they have been to a tennis resort recently, or if they have any of the other following potential signs/symptoms: Gamekeeper's Thumb, Golfer's Elbow, Jumper's Knee, Mother's Wrist (a.k.a. DeQuervain's Syndrome), Writer's Cramp or Boxer's Dementia (a.k.a. Punch-Drunk Syndrome).
Despite the dire threat, citizens should remember to not panic at this time. The CDC will announce when the appropriate time for panic has arrived.