Written by Princess Poole

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Topics: Steroids, fake tan

Wednesday, 4 July 2007

image for Lotion Recalled after Found to Contain Steroids
Users are outraged

Re-All Tan self-tanning lotion was recalled today after the FDA found that it contained an extreme amount of a genetically mutated steroid. The steroid drastically effected the muscle mass of the body and reacted negatively with the tanning formula to produce a bright green tan.

Users who were hoping to look a little sun bronzed were crushed to learn that they are now too muscular to fit into a tanning bed and will never tan again. "I just wanted a tan and now I'm a monster," says Bea Greene, "Now my friends call me Ms Hulk."

"I used Re-All Tan because I know UV rays and tanning beds weren't healthy, now I'm ruined and even my dog is afraid of me," says Bob Robert the first to be treated for symptoms of Re-All Tan.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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