Written by SciTy
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Topics: NASA, Public

Wednesday, 11 February 2004

Ever since NASA began releasing new images of the Martian surface the world has been rather dismayed. The worries need not continue however, NASA has heeded the public outcry.

"Fine, here are the rock closeups." said NASA spokeswoman Jacquelyn Barker in a press release by the agency, Friday, February 6th.

"CREVICES! OH THE CREVICES!" one viewer of the recently released photos was quoted as saying between bouts of raucous laughter and erratic teeth chattering.

"They really go for the geological stuff, I guess. We never figured it would be interesting or even tolerated by the general public, but hey, whatever floats their friggin' canoe." Dr. Penderthall, NASA's Opportunity Rover Mission Specialist M.D. said in an exclusive interview with this reporter. "I guess landscapes just aren't fetching enough in today's high-speed digital whoopty-doo world of mass entertainment and Justin Timberlake."

"We want rocks! We want shots!" A crowd of protestors gathered outside the Kennedy Space Center early Friday morning chanted in an effort to get the space agency to change its picture taking priorities. "Screw this strange new alien world bullcrap," said one protestor, "I'm in it for the minerals."

"We really just want them to go to the right building," said one police officer. Decked out in riot gear, the authorities did their best to disperse the crowd before any rock throwing (no pun intended) began. "THIS IS A TOURIST ATTRACTION! NO ACTUAL SCIENCE TAKES PLACE IN THIS PARK!" one park manager said over a megaphone. The crowd reacted by accusing the park of "A conspiracy to cover up the existence of rocks on the red planet." as one protestor claimed shortly before throwing his shoes at the ticket booth at the entrance to the park and ripping down a sign that said Please Put Litter In Its Place.

Strangely enough, George W. Bush will be holding a press conference to address the issue of whether the terrorists on Mars do indeed possess "rocks of mass destruction."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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