Written by Skews Me
Print this

Wednesday, 20 June 2007

image for Experimental preschool creating near geniuses
little learning machines

The experimental preschool Head First uses the latest research in neurobiology, cognitive science, and learning theory to accelerate the development of children in its care.

Founded five years ago by Head First Labs, the schools have been sprouting up in gated communities across the nation.

Babies as young as 1 year old are introduced to programmed stimulation, covering a wide range of activities from image recognition to song memorization to motor skills proficiency.

"The classes have been an astounding success," said a Head First spokeswoman. "Our kids are testing off the charts."

"I never knew just how much information a young child actually absorbs," said a proud Head First mother. "I feel bad for the other kids who don't get this kind of early education."

Copyright © 2007, SkewsMe

Make Skews Me's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 4 multiplied by 4?

4 3 16 2
113 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more