Written by SciTy
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Topics: NASA, Mars

Tuesday, 10 February 2004

In a press conference held this morning by Mars, the red planet made some statements addressing the charges alleged by NASA yesterday.

"They're launching robots covered in bouncy balls at me. What am I supposed to do, not eat them?" said Mars. The 4th planet explained further that launching bouncy ball robots was like putting a Twinkie in a fat man's pocket.

"They're literally flying right into my mouth. I just open up and say AHHHH." explained Mars.

In a show of support for Mars, Venus nodded knowingly and then continued evaporating the multi-million dollar titanium scraps left from the last probe NASA launched at it. "I've got gas." the planet said, "I can't help it." "Mars is red, he has a reputation to uphold. Ever since he ate the dinosaurs it's been 'I'm hungry this and where are the space probes that and why can't the mammals evolve faster?' He's really been a trooper." said Venus. "I admire his patience."

"Yeah really, you little monkeys got a free dino eradication and it still took you thousands of years to start sending me treats. Now get to sending more or that won't be the last time I facilitate a mass extinction. Hint hint, wink wink." said Mars.

"He's really not kidding." said Venus.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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