Scientists today announced findings linking "Bird Flu", (currently rampaging across Asia), and the all-consuming, all-powerful "Cancer". Scientists at Malpoo University, Calcutta, who this year have already suggested 84 ways in which one can contract and fight cancer, have apparently come up with this new possible way for human-people to avoid death.
"Just two weeks ago," said Malreej Pakur, lead scientist, "we shocked the world with our book '18 ways to fight cancer' and now we have a new method. We have found that our patients had nearly a 100% success at avoiding cancer once they contracted Bird Flu.
"Through rigorous testing and studies, we have found that people like to hear of new cancer causes and new cancer fighting drugs every 2 hours or so. Sometimes to make people happy we just make scares up. But this time, we really have found an excellent link between bird flu and cancer."
From Mr Pakur's data it was possible to see that there was a very distinct pattenr between the number of deaths by bird flu and those by cancer.
"I think you can agree that the link is unmistakable. Which, in layman's terms means: We win, you lose! Ha-ha!"
This journalist finds both Bird Flu and Cancer to be very serious subjects and deeply regrets those who are offended by this satirical story.[/i]